The Resurfacing

you say that you love me too

2012-01-18T15:22:00.003-06:00

the uses of sorrow

2012-01-12T13:28:00.002-06:00

the lover

2012-01-06T18:08:00.000-06:00

why the caged bird sings

2011-12-20T18:26:00.002-06:00

this may well be completing piece for my tattoo

the ache

2011-12-20T11:14:00.001-06:00

the ache

passive me aggressive you

2011-12-19T13:01:00.002-06:00

post title is reference to album by The Naked And Famous

the most beautiful people

2011-10-14T15:57:00.003-05:00

found here:
http://morsecodenotsoweekly.tumblr.com/post/11020184429

bukowski again

2011-09-22T16:02:00.002-05:00

you cant tell me he wasnt a lover at heart

found here

#18 only

2011-07-25T17:09:00.012-05:00

i only knew her for a few months
   if only i knew her

its only a couple on the train,
   but she has her head on his shoulder

its only the scent of my cologne
   a handful of fleeting moments etched in my mind

its only the small things that remind me of her
   memories carved in her image

it was only 5 days we were together then
   if only we had more

no one should ever know

2011-07-20T14:29:00.005-05:00

found here

originally here

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas

2011-07-11T14:35:00.002-05:00

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieve it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

image found here

A Conversation #4 too much

2011-07-09T13:46:00.004-05:00

i remember when we were gambling to win

yeah, but now it just seems we've just got too much to loose

image from here

Ask not about the tavern of lunacy

2011-07-04T20:51:00.001-05:00

A Conversation: #3 unsaid

2011-06-27T13:26:00.003-05:00

she whispered.
she whispered,'how do you stand the pain?'
quietly and into his ear
but there was no answer. just
that silence

so let me live my life

2011-06-27T13:23:00.002-05:00

im the one who has to die, when it is time to die. so let me live my life the way i want to - Jimi Hendrix

found here

, he did.

2011-06-03T14:12:00.003-05:00

from 'Dibs In Search For Self' by Virginia M. Axline

A Conversation: #2 the dark

2011-05-27T11:04:00.009-05:00

please dont leave me.

i'll try not to, but all i can do is try.

it is lonely in the dark.

it is always dark without you.

A Conversation: #1 the road

2011-05-27T10:59:00.009-05:00

did you abandon me? or did i abandon you?

i dont know; the road was twisted and i got turned around.

at least we are here together. for now.

#17

2011-05-18T10:36:00.002-05:00

All you have to do is work on your problems, and you are as well off as someone without any.

let er ride

2011-05-13T10:58:00.001-05:00

found here

#16 - searching for self

2011-05-11T21:05:00.003-05:00

You become your friends, your friends become you. Who you've become friends with is important.

put your hand up if this sounds like you

2011-04-27T17:44:00.011-05:00

Borderline Personality Disorder

the irony is that it's 3 days away from BPD awareness month. and i see people who fit this description everywhere. it is as if lacking sense of identity is a part of 'modern' life.

oh faith, oh love, oh courage

2011-04-27T17:31:00.004-05:00

Luisa A. Igloria says:
April 27, 2011 at 10:01 am

Dear heart, I take up my tasks again:

rising in the morning to turn off the alarm
–from the old French *A l’arme*, meaning to
the arms, though I have hardly any weapons
but these limbs, once burnished and nearly
lovely in their prime; my wits (still for the most
part, gratefully, intact); and this all too common
yearning for ease and rest, pleasure and kind words…
Listen to the small feathered body singing in the dark,
its faltering lyric familiar as the prayer I’ll don
as armor for the day: oh faith, oh love, oh courage.

- Luisa A. Igloria
04 28 2011

found here originally here

------------------------------------------------

that is one of the most beautiful things I've read in some time

maxims 1 through 4

2011-04-21T15:24:00.002-05:00

image found here

#15

2011-04-18T19:15:00.006-05:00

The angry man will defeat himself in battle as well as in life. ~ Samurai Maxim #Quotes

Original Tweet: http://twitter.com/YouQuotedQuotes/status/58959858715725824

i was really really angry when i wrote this down. and also very defeated. later i was able to lift myself out of the wallowing and was less defeated. my whole lifetime is piling up but i dunno if im sitting on top of that or am buried underneath.

but i've had a revelation: i need a place where i feel like i belong.

i need to take the time to write the back story to that. its all culminating... this series may be ending soon but not before un grande finale

-------------------------------------------
Talking Heads: Lifetime Piling Up Lyrics

I have tried marijuana I get nervous every time
There will come a knockin' at the door
Why is everybody makin' eyes at me ?
I don't want to know

Excuse and pardon me
Stay for a while maybe we'll never meet again

And I can see my lifetime piling up, I can see the days turn into nights
I can see the people on the street open those windows up
A hundred floors below me pilin' those houses up
Pilin' them higher, higher, higher can feel them swayin' back and forth
Building it higher, higher this tower's leaning over

I got bad coordination stuck a pencil in my eye
I can hardly wait to get back home
Why is everybody gettin' paranoid?
I's only havin' fun

Scum bags and superstars tell me your names
I'll make a bet, you're both the same

I can see my lifetime pilin' up reaching from my bedroom to the stars
I can see the house where I was born
When I was growin' up they say that I could never keep my trousers up
I remember days and crazy nights, are there any pirates on this ship ?
And if they sober up they?ll have us home by morning

Cry, cry, cry it's just you and I
Like an automobile with no one at the wheel
Spinning out of control we're all over the road
In our sexy machine oh, all the passengers scream
Scream, scream

I can see my lifetime pilin' up, I can see it smashin' into yours
It was not an accident at all open your window up I hear you laughin'
Going one two three four five goin' from the bottom to the top
Maybe I'm holding on too tight and now I'm throwin' up
I got a funny feeling pilin' them houses up, pilin' them higher, higher, higher
Building that highway to the stars turning the music up
Hey I got a winning number

All the good words are really expensive

2011-02-17T10:15:00.002-06:00

heavy lifting

2011-02-01T00:36:00.003-06:00

death is lighter than a feather, duty heavier than a mountain

- robert jordan

I was happy then

2011-01-23T20:40:00.001-06:00

#14 (ugly as sin)

2011-01-04T16:02:00.004-06:00

From Leonard Cohen's - The Energy Of Slaves

Delight in Disorder

2011-01-03T15:17:00.001-06:00

Delight in Disorder
by Robert Herrick

A sweet disorder in the dress
Kindles in clothes a wantonness;
A lawn about the shoulders thrown
Into a fine distraction;
An erring lace, which here and there
Enthrals the crimson stomacher;
A cuff neglectful, and thereby
Ribands to flow confusedly;
A winning wave, deserving note,
In the tempestuous petticoat;
A careless shoe-string, in whose tie
I see a wild civility:
Do more bewitch me, than when art
Is too precise in every part.

found here

#13 (adelie penguin in antarctica)

2010-12-21T12:23:00.005-06:00

Re-blogged (verbatim) from the amazing Luyi

After waiting for over two weeks for his mate to return from the sea and relieve him of nest duty, this Adelie penguin's hunger helps him make the decision to abandon his egg in search of fish and krill in the sea. Photo taken December 12, 2002. Known populations of the Adelie penguin have dropped by 65% over the past 25 years. (Melanie Conner/National Science Foundation)

Found here

#12

2010-12-14T14:18:00.006-06:00

Question Everything!

"
Why do we just accept things?

Other things on the wall: “You know how I feel about you baby”, “Comfort!”, and “Because we are blind (to the truth)
"

copied and pasted (re-blogged) from here:
http://quote-book.tumblr.com/post/2192500475/joelzimmer-why-do-we-just-accept-things-other

#11

2010-12-07T08:15:00.003-06:00

You'll never need me
to assure my love for you.
But I'll tell you anyway.

I love you.

Oh, my beautiful bird

2010-12-03T16:30:00.015-06:00

Oh, my beautiful bird in a cage
Behind the veneer I see your rage
Oh, my beautiful bird in a cage
I think its time we turned that page

Oh, my little mockingbird. Sing
    We'll see what the future has to bring
Oh, my little mockingbird. Sing
    Loving your life shouldn't be a sin

Our heads held high
    and feet on the ground
We'll listen to their voices
    while they make no sound

They won't stand out
    so walk quietly to their grave
They're all in line
    and know nothing of the brave

But if you're shopping
    well I've got a deal right here
If you start laughing
    they'll be no voices to hear

If you start talking
    I'll be listening
If only we start singing
    while our dreams are still glistening

Oh, my beautiful bird in a cage
Isn't it time to spread those wings
Oh, my beautiful bird in a cage
Come with me and we'll turn that page

(but if that mocking bird dont sing, daddy aint gonna buy you a diamond ring)

image found here

--------------

Heavily inspired by

Maya Angelou's - 'I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings'

and

Arcade Fire's 'Antichrist Television Blues'

#10

2010-11-28T13:22:00.002-06:00

-by Rumi-

hope

2010-11-19T18:29:00.002-06:00

the sycophant

2010-11-11T12:02:00.005-06:00

i want to be good enough
for you,
but i need you
to be good enough.

#9 if

2010-11-10T21:07:00.006-06:00

if you can love me
for trying my best
and understand when I
fall short
then we can make it work

salvation in forgiveness

2010-11-04T10:28:00.002-05:00

“I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes—it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, ‘Well, if I’d known better I’d have done better,’ that’s all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, ‘I’m sorry,’ and then you say to yourself, ‘I’m sorry.’ If we all hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self.”

- Maya Angelou

a turning point

2010-10-18T11:54:00.007-05:00

there was a turning point, when everything everyone had ever said to me rang clear in my ears.

i turned away from it. and realized that i'll need to be my own hero before i'll ever find happiness. now, i dont think i can never look back

found here
originally from here

#8

2010-09-07T10:41:00.003-05:00

“There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium was the only solution to the strangulation that life had prepared for him.”

- Antonin Artaud

Broken Social Scene - Meet Me In The Basement from Arts & Crafts on Vimeo.

the love stays

2010-08-26T11:01:00.005-05:00

by Sharon Olds

found here

are we the waves

2010-08-23T17:42:00.004-05:00

are we the waves or just broken pieces of shattered dreams afloat upon the ocean of life?

reblogged from the amazing luyi

#7

2010-08-10T16:28:00.003-05:00

songs that make you cry

the forlorn

2010-08-10T14:42:00.016-05:00

The fellowship of the forlorn fiends:
each equipped with irrational dreams

we uncovered our truths, and put them on shelves.
trusted each other, more than ourselves

gave it our best and accepted the worst.
and went home with, less song and more curse.

but still we hope, against all odds.
in its brazen face, through ennui fog.

our lofty wishes, tossed to the wishing well.
watch them fade: with solitude unquelled.

there you'll find our outlines: under the light posts,
somewhere in the classified ads. not real: just ghosts.

it takes a toll, and no small cost.
but it feels like nothing, while we are lost.

photo by Ace Preston

its a fix

2010-08-09T11:36:00.003-05:00

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes

- Leonard Cohen
image found here

I don't really know

2010-08-05T11:01:00.012-05:00

"What I always thought I had in mind was getting some big scholarship to graduate school or a grant to study all over Europe, and then I thought I'd be a professor and write books of poems or write books of poems and be an editor of some sort. Usually I had these plans on the tip of my tongue.

"I don't really know," I heard myself say. I felt a deep shock, hearing myself say that, because the minute I said it, I knew it was true.

It sounded true, and I recognized it, the way you recognize some nondescript person that's been hanging around your door for ages and then suddenly comes up and introduces himself as your real father and looks exactly like you, so you know he really is your father, and the person you thought all your life was your father is a sham.

"I don't really know."

- Silvia Plath from "The Bell Jar'

will i went to the graduate school, got a job.

and I. still. dont. know.

re-blogged from here minor philosophies/ major apostrophes

#6

2010-07-18T13:57:00.004-05:00

a haiku:
whenever you're near
pitter patter goes my heart
will you kiss me, please?
-------------

Robyn - With Every Heartbeat

and it hurts with every heartbeat

Bandages

2010-07-17T19:39:00.000-05:00

Got my first tattoo today, these were the bandages

On Social Constructs

2010-07-14T12:29:00.011-05:00

This was my comment to this blog entry / social analysis article :
--------------------------------------
That was a great read and gave me a great deal to think about, thank you. I think your point about culturally induced schizophrenia, in no small way, hits the nail on the head- and probably makes up a good amount of my inner turmoil.

But, I actually found much of the dilemma here quite foreign to me, and I am trying to figure that out. I mean, I've never felt entitled to dominate, assume superiority, or rule over women or anyone for that matter without it being warranted (i.e. the workplace or with my nieces/ nephews [settings with a deliberated power structure]). And I truly care about everyone I see and meet – Namasté: “I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, light, peace and joy. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, We Are One”. This internal make-up has always placed me as an outlier in American society; and as a result people either quickly gravitate toward me or look on with confused indifference.

I think my naivety of gender “roles” comes directly from two crucial characteristics of my childhood–
1: between the ages of 0-7 I saw a lot of countries (20+) and have since never really able to identify a single culture, religion, or way of doing things as the correct one.

2: my parents tried their absolute best to instill in me their dogma (which they truly believe), but they had an absentee way of parenting which was a contradiction in to their authority. To me those lessons landed in the ‘old way of thinking’ bucket. Even so, by then I had seen too much and thought too much and the ideologies wouldn’t take so easily.

In more recent years, I’ve felt that I’m constantly at ends with Americans – and find myself saying stupid #%*& Americans quite a lot (particularly when using a public restroom – i.e. it is NOT ok to not clean up after yourself regardless of how many nasty ass bathrooms you’ve endured): though one should note that as an immigrant kid all one wants to do is be an American. My problem with the average American is I find that they don’t deliberate their actions and are quite happy to be sheep peacefully walking into the slaughter house.

You said it: We just need to become better people. Period. I could not agree more: we cannot just abide to the old ways of thinking. We must deliberate our life: for our selves, for our children and most importantly for the people who are the most damaged (e.g. the man who beat his son to death). We have a moral imperative to set an example for others to follow, because we are privileged to be strong and intelligent enough to rise against/above the status quo. Voltaire said it well: "Every [hu]man is guilty of all the good he didn't do."

Things that see me

2010-07-09T09:23:00.000-05:00

Things that i see

2010-07-08T17:44:00.000-05:00

#5

2010-07-06T20:00:00.005-05:00

a haiku:

Sometimes, when I'm on my own.

I get so depressed, I just don't know,

what I can to do about it.

-------------

Though they fade

2010-07-03T11:38:00.009-05:00

There is a sketch,
my whole life as a simple drawing.
Each shaky line, not quite complete.
Lines like spots on a map:

a lifetime of memories.
Spilt across a black canvas,

those gems of our lives.
Its strange now to look back at this drawing,
and see how we smile. How we smile.

Lightning Love - Good Time

盼望的人：會出現

2010-06-25T11:43:00.004-05:00

Re-blogged from http://lu-yi.blogspot.com -

盼望的人：會出現

Keep hope alive

#4

2010-06-23T15:51:00.010-05:00

Pink Floyd - The Gunner Dream

The Gunner Dream - Pink Floyd (R. Waters)

Floating down through the clouds
Memories come rushing up to meet me now.
In the space between the heavens
and in the corner of some foreign field
I had a dream.
I had a dream.
Good-bye Max.
Good-bye Ma.
After the service when you're walking slowly to the car
And the silver in her hair shines in the cold November air
You hear the tolling bell
And touch the silk in your lapel
And as the tear drops rise to meet the comfort of the band
You take her frail hand
And hold on to the dream.
A place to stay
"Oi! A real one ..."
Enough to eat
Somewhere old heroes shuffle safely down the street
Where you can speak out loud
About your doubts and fears
And what's more no-one ever disappears
You never hear their standard issue kicking in your door.
You can relax on both sides of the tracks
And maniacs don't blow holes in bandsmen by remote control
And everyone has recourse to the law
And no-one kills the children anymore.
And no one kills the children anymore.

Night after night
Going round and round my brain
His dream is driving me insane.
In the corner of some foreign field
The gunner sleeps tonight.
What's done is done.
We cannot just write off his final scene.
Take heed of his dream.
Take heed.

all the twenty-somethings in the room should read this.

2010-06-22T18:05:00.006-05:00

all the twenty-somethings in the room should read this.

You’re tired of pretending, tired of bluster, tired of fake swagger, tired of your pride, tired of seeming cool, tired of blowing things off, tired of shrugging, tired of going with the flow, tired of acting unattached, easygoing, tough, cool, incredible. You are tired of trying to be the very best, most beautiful, smartest, coolest, funniest, most ravishingly perfect woman in the room.

And yes, when you start demonstrating your vulnerability, your weakness, which I feel strongly that you should do, when you stop trying to hide your flaws, when you start making it clear that you are just another person in the room, not the best or the worst, when you fail to spin your story in any way, when you strive to appear brave but still admit to feeling crumpled and silly, when you show people who you are and even how you feel without apology (this doesn’t mean being bold and showing off, necessarily, it can mean anything), when you try to bring your whole person into the room, the warty loser and the dude lover and every last one of you, then you will repel many, many men, and you will also attract a few who are exactly the sorts of men you want to know. Or not, but they’ll be better for you than the ones who liked the fun-time chick, the one who wouldn’t mind painting her naked body blue for Burning Man.

You are pretty great, you know that. Now it’s time to try to be not that great at all. Just be average.

And after that? Once you feel relieved by how regular and mediocre and flawed you are, relieved for some weird reason? You’ll suddenly find that you want to go on a long walk, just to think. When your mind starts saying “you fucking suck,” tell your mind to fuck itself. And then, after the walk, you’ll have a cup of tea, and then you’ll start cleaning your apartment. You’ll reorganize your bookshelves, while you talk on the phone to a friend. You’ll buy yourself some flowers.

This is the start of a new era for you. You might be a little less fun to talk to at a bar or at a party, you might have less men around you, but you will be much happier. You now have permission to be exactly the way you are. No matter how ugly you think that is, you are not alone, and plenty of people will find your ugly very beautiful. This is the breakdown you’ve been waiting for, for a long, long time.

I like you much better already.

-Via Ramemo
--Via Tarts
---Via the original (with the whole piece) rabbit blog

Photo found at ffffound
Originally from I love Dust

Dont mean to brag

2010-06-09T21:10:00.001-05:00

I took the photo in october 09, printed at home, and finished matting and putting the frame together 10 minutes ago. I'll send it off tomorrow for my friends bday- she like everyone else I know does not know my blog exists (yet?)

here is the original

#3

2010-06-07T14:48:00.006-05:00

Bruce Springsteen- Human Touch

Bruce Springsteen- Human Touch
----------------------------------

You and me we were the pretenders
We let it all slip away
In the end what you don't surrender
Well the world just strips away

Girl, ain't no kindness in the face of strangers
Ain't gonna find no miracles here
Well you can wait on your blesses my darlin'
But I got a deal for you right here

I ain't lookin' for praise or pity
I ain't comin' 'round searchin' for a crutch
I just want someone to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch

Ain't no mercy on the streets of this town
Ain't no bread from heavenly skies
Ain't nobody drawin' wine from this blood
It's just you and me tonight

Tell me, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm askin's too much
I just want something to hold on to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch

Oh girl that feeling of safety you prize
Well it comes at a hard hard price
You can't shut off the risk and the pain
Without losin' the love that remains
We're all riders on this train

So you've been broken and you've been hurt
Show me somebody who ain't
Yeah, I know I ain't nobody's bargain
But, hell, a little touchup
and a little paint...

You might need somethin' to hold on to
When all the answers, they don't amount to much
Somebody that you could just to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch

Baby, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm askin's too much
I just want to feel you in my arms
Share a little of that Human Touch
Feel a little of that Human Touch
Give me a little of that Human Touch

Copyright © Bruce Springsteen (ASCAP)
http://www.brucespringsteen.net/songs/HumanTouch.html

near the end of the song a female vocalist comes in for about a line and a half with "just a little of that human touch | just a little..." it still gives me goose bumps when i hear it and it seriously made me tear up my first listen

Life During Wartime

2010-06-01T14:00:00.005-05:00

--Suicide in the Trenches--

I knew a simple soldier boy
Who grinned at life in empty joy,
Slept soundly through the lonesome dark,
And whistled early with the lark.

In winter trenches, cowed and glum,
With crumps and lice and lack of rum,
He put a bullet through his brain.
No one spoke of him again.

You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye
Who cheer when soldier lads march by,
Sneak home and pray you'll never know
The hell where youth and laughter go.

--Siegfried Sassoon
1917
--------------------------------------

Talking Heads - Life During Wartime
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MYp0VIbwZk

--------------------------------------

These feel so very pertinent when I think about my everyday struggles

#2

2010-05-26T14:45:00.002-05:00

Mos Def - The Beggar

long nights

2010-05-25T12:18:00.003-05:00

ok, i've listened to this song more than 10 times in a row now. And my heart / brain / soul thing is still screaming like a lobster being cooked alive (but that might just be steam escaping from my shell). I shouldnt say things like this but, sometimes it just gets so hard to keep on

Music PhotoMontage 1 - Eddie Vedder's "Long Nights" from Sergey Poberezhny on Vimeo.

watch the movie - i loved it. the movie documentary too

FYI - the whole album by Eddie Vedder is pretty amazing

Found while running

2010-05-23T16:49:00.000-05:00

Some angels grumble (by hafiz)

2010-05-23T16:27:00.001-05:00

#1

2010-05-21T14:40:00.000-05:00

is it ok if i quietly fall in love with you?

we own the future

2010-05-17T10:00:00.001-05:00

"The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created—created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them, changes both the maker and the destination."
John Schaar, futurist (via lastchatwithphontaine)

found here: http://rememo.tumblr.com/post/600383058/the-future-is-not-a-result-of-choices-among

a time to be small

2010-05-13T11:44:00.014-05:00

These are just so fantastical, I love em. They remind me of the little dream worlds I think of as my mind wanders. I might just have to get the book.

-Little People-

from - http://little-people.blogspot.com/
___________________________________

And these amazing little dioramas. I cant decide which I like better

-Rouleaux-

from Anastassia Elias - http://www.anastassia-elias.com/

Reminds of this song:
Interpol - A Time To Be Small

A time to be so small
Bottom of the ocean
Saw him under the boat
Saw you making knots
Saw you get the rope
A boy appearing on the deck
Making it lurch
Bubble of your interests
Ready to burst

He whistles and he runs

Saw you in distraction of
Sleeping slow despair
Bursting in a rapture
But he wasn't even there
Feature is a creature
Though you wish you were the wind
Boat will not stop moving
If you tie him up until the end

He whistles and he runs so hold him fast
Pray the lord the wants to let it last
He might succumb to what you haven't seen
He has a keen eye for what you didn't see

when the cadaverous mobs
In the doors to the tent
And man, meanwhile you cannot be

I want you to be there
When he gets to the end
Have to find a way

quiet morning

2010-05-12T17:22:00.003-05:00

by raul ursu @ http://rur-photography.blogspot.com/

The future

2010-04-21T18:25:00.000-05:00

the reeling

2010-04-07T18:27:00.003-05:00

Stomacher's Time Lapse Music Video

2010-04-05T15:33:00.000-05:00

Stomacher - Untitled/Dark Divider from Sean Stiegemeier on Vimeo.

J'aime France Gall

2010-04-05T13:15:00.028-05:00

France Gall - Pense à moi

[Refrain] :
Ne prends pas cet air là
Quand tu n'es pas avec moi
Et si tu t'ennuies pense à moi
Ton chagrin s'en ira
Quand je serai dans tes bras
Mais en attendant
Pense à moi

Pense à nos vacances
Au ciel bleu
Pense à notre plage
À nous deux
A ce grand soleil
Sur toi et moi
Et pense à la neige
A l'hiver
Au chalet
Sous le sapin vert
À nos soirées
Près du feu de bois

[Refrain]

Pense à tous les mots
Que l'on dit
Quand tous les amis
Sont partis
Qu'il ne reste au monde
Que toi et moi
Alors on devient
Silencieux
Tu me caresses
Avec les yeux
En disant tout bas
"Je t'aime toi"

Je l'entend déjà
Au matin
Le train qui partira
Demain
Et qui te ramène enfin
Vers moi
Tu sais bien
Que je serai là
Avec tant d'amour
Dans la voix
Ne pense pense pense
Qu'à ça

[Refrain]

Pense à moi Pense à moi ...

France Gall - Think of me

[Chorus]:
Do not look so here
When you're not with me
And if you are bored think of me
Your grief will pass away
When I'm in your arms
But until then
Think of me

Think of our holiday
Blue sky
Think of our beach
Between us
To grand sunshine
About you and me
And think of the snow
In winter
At the cottage
Under the green tree
To our evenings
Near the fire

[Chorus]

Think of all the words
What they mean
When all friends
Have left
That remains the world
That you and me
So it becomes
Silent
You caress me
With eyes
In whispering
"I love you you"

I already understand
In the morning
The train will leave
Tomorrow
And finally you're back
About Me
You know
I'll be there
With so much love
In the voice
Don't think think think
Thats it

[Chorus]

Think of me Think of me ...

We are such stuff as dreams are made on

2010-04-02T13:31:00.005-05:00

PROSPERO -

You do look, my son, in a mov'd sort,
As if you were dismay'd: be cheerful, sir:
Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.—Sir, I am vex'd:
Bear with my weakness; my old brain is troubled.
Be not disturb'd with my infirmity.
If you be pleas'd, retire into my cell
And there repose: a turn or two I'll walk,
To still my beating mind.

-- Shakespeare
--The Tempest Act 4, scene 1, 148–158

image from here

under the floorboards

2010-04-02T09:22:00.003-05:00

“The house will come along, and at some point it will be a home instead of a wreck. I worry, after we spent a weekend sniping at one another and at our dear friends, that there may, someday, not be enough love to go around. So I am hoping to store up some extra in the walls, and the floors, to write some down and stick it by the phone, to run some up the flagpole and to plant some more in the garden.”

- Nathan Gunter

image from here

a place to call home

2010-03-15T22:10:00.005-05:00

rest
rest with your head on the clouds
with your lips curled to one side
a hammock just large enough put your worries

rest

rest with your eyes tracing memories
and your heart at pacing at peace
everyone you love, may just love you more
just rest

and be happy :)

F6 on the Fujita Scale / Center of the Storm

2010-03-11T22:30:00.008-06:00

it grows dark

but not as dark as my eye

as the cumulus clouds rise around me

i take shape, and my existence quantifies

all my good versus

all the bad

its coming down today
tearing down like bats out of hell

thundering down to feast on my doubts

but its all i have

and from where i sit, its all i see

signed

-the center of the storm

------------------------------------------

The Fuijta Scale here or here

bruises of longing

2010-03-10T13:38:00.002-06:00

““…There are certain people who come into your life, and leave a mark… Their place in your heart is tender; a bruise of longing, a pulse of unfinished business. Just hearing their names pushes and pulls at you in a hundred ways, and when you try to define those hundred ways, describe them even to yourself, words are useless.””

- Sara Zarr

a state of going somewhere

2010-03-03T12:41:00.002-06:00

Happiness is essentially a state of going somewhere, wholeheartedly, one directionally, without regret or reservation. ~ William H. Sheldon

Jackson & state, chicago

2010-02-25T19:51:00.000-06:00

Maybe I think too much

2010-02-25T10:01:00.004-06:00

Think Too Much (b)

They say the left side of the brain
Dominates the right
And the right side has to labor
Through the long and speechless night
And in the night
My father came to me
And held me to his chest
He said there's not much more that you can do
Go on and get some rest
And I said yeah
Maybe I think too much
Maybe I think too much
Maybe I think too much
Maybe I think too much

- Paul Simon

like a jigsaw puzzle

2010-02-22T16:49:00.004-06:00

Everything Put Together Falls Apart

M-m, paraphernalia
Never hides your broken bones
And I don't know why
You want to try
Mm, it's plain to see you're on your own
Uh, huh, I ain't blind, no
Some folks are crazy
Others walk that borderline
Watch what you're doing
Taking downs to get off to sleep
And ups to start you on your way
After a while they'll change your style
M-m-m, I see it happening every day
Uh, huh spare your heart
Everything put together
Sooner or later falls apart
There's nothing to it, nothing to it
You can cry
You can lie
For all the good it'll do you
You can die
But when it's done
And the police come, and they lay you down for dead
Uh, huh, just remember what I said

- By Paul Simon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtZZyAnEQXU

image from here

No, I simply could not have believed

2010-02-19T11:38:00.003-06:00

Could you believe that I didn’t know what to do with your slow, warm affection? Could you believe I was scared by your endless giving giving giving? It took me a while to be able to feel welcomed by your strength that never shows off, never brags, but just nourishes and makes time stop. The feeling of hatred passed in the time it takes for an eye to twitch, and I realized that I have to take care of myself because I belong to someone. Someone is thinking of me right now. I never doubt it. I know you will always be there. Yeah, I’m in my room somewhere. It’s freezing outside and I am exhausted. Too many things to do. Too many people to answer to all the time. From here I think of you. My body is wracked in pain and I am burning with fever.

-Henry Rollins

& I loved everything I saw

2010-02-19T11:29:00.002-06:00

I've read this book 10 years ago, and love it more every time i read out of it.

----------------------

God made mud.
God got lonesome.
So God said to some of the mud, “Sit up!”
“See all I’ve made,” said God, “the hills, the sea, the sky, the stars.”
And I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around.
Lucky me, lucky mud.
I, mud, sat up and saw what a nice job God had done.
Nice going, God.
Nobody but you could have done it, God! I certainly couldn’t have.
I feel very unimportant compared to You.
The only way I can feel the least bit important is to think of all the mud that didn’t even get to sit up and look around.
I got so much, and most mud got so little.
Thank you for the honor!
Now mud lies down again and goes to sleep.
What memories for mud to have!
What interesting other kinds of sitting-up mud I met!
I loved everything I saw!

—Kurt Vonnegut, Cat’s Cradle

Re: Blessed Unity

2010-01-21T00:37:00.015-06:00

Regarding the general point on my post Blessed Unity

It seems to be intrinsically spiritual. The word blessed alone has a few meanings including happiness and to become holy. (and dont we feel so freaking blessed when we are happy :'}

Well I dont go to congregated mass of really any sort. While I truly enjoy their sentiment (and people's faces) but I feel its like going to meetings where all they do is talk about what we should do.

Live blessed

And be blessed

May society abound you and

Feel little need for blessings from lovely priests

Vs.

The tigers eat the vegetarians too (I.E. for all that you do, it doest not mean you will receive fair or any retribution)

--------------------------------from link above

Bless \Bless\, v. t. [imp. & p. p. Blessedor Blest; p. pr. & vb. n. Blessing.]

[OE. blessien, bletsen, AS. bletsian, bledsian, bloedsian, fr. bl?d blood; prob. originally to consecrate by sprinkling with blood. See Blood.]

1. To make or pronounce holy; to consecrate [1913 Webster]

And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it. --Gen. ii. 3. [1913 Webster]

2. To make happy, blithesome, or joyous; to confer prosperity or happiness upon; to grant divine favor to. [1913 Webster]

The quality of mercy is . . . twice blest; It blesseth him that gives and him that takes. --Shak. [1913 Webster]

---------------------------------from link above

Retribution \Ret`ri*bu"tion\, n. [L. retributio: cf. F. r['e]tribution.]

1. The act of retributing; repayment. [1913 Webster]

2. That which is given in repayment or compensation; return suitable to the merits or deserts of, as an action; commonly, condign punishment for evil or wrong. [1913 Webster]

All who have their reward on earth, . . . Naught seeking but the praise of men, here find Fit retribution, empty as their deeds. --Milton. [1913 Webster]

(and Milton deepens the rabbit hole - but dammit don't we do our best for each other...?!)

image found here

e-talk

2010-01-20T11:38:00.003-06:00

Seems like all our conversations over new media just come off like newspaper headlines and ultimatums

blessed unity

2010-01-19T12:12:00.005-06:00

TV On the Radio - Snakes and Martyrs

everyone makes the same wave
at the same time
(like pebbles on water)
and we call all those interrupting lines
(sons and daughters)
a community
so lets join hands in song
blessed unity

but brother, i don't wanna know you
i don't even wanna know you
and sister, i don't wanna know you
i don't even wanna know you

but we're trapped
in this lovely mess
i hold you close and smile
fake, like they do way out west

so many medicines
for so many heads
and i'd help you clean the skeletons
from under your bed but

i don't even know you
how could it be me that sends you?
darling, didn't your mama
tell you not to let no stranger bend you?
probably someone here that could
help to mend you
but it's not me
got my own anxiety

sadness isn't any way to explain
you'll probably crash heads throughout
(i know you're crying tonight,)
the force of this place
(no end in sight)

it's as simple as the way
you wear your unpolished shoes
and your righteous braids
but all i know is your blues
ain't like my blues
and why would they be?
if there's one commonality
it's that that feeling is mutual
given time, you'll see
you'll see

-----------

....I wont mind being a martyr if we can make our community a blessed one. It's worth it.

all that glitters

2010-01-15T13:57:00.006-06:00

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day,
Nothing gold can stay.

— Robert Frost

______________

Wow. just Wow.

It is poems like this remind me why I don't write for a living.

and why i love to try

when your heart will be true

2010-01-14T12:19:00.008-06:00

May It Be - by Enya

May it be an evening star,
Shines down upon you.
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh, how far you are from home

Mornié utúlié (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornié alantié (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be shadows call
Will fly away
May it be your journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornié utúlié (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornié alantié (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

poem found here

image found here

like that

2010-01-13T17:19:00.005-06:00

sometimes its like that, just like that

If you are going back to sleep

2010-01-10T19:18:00.001-06:00

If you are going back

to sleep please take

me with you

From the train station nearest to me in Chicago

alone with everybody

2010-01-07T18:02:00.002-06:00

Alone with Everybody

the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh.

there’s no chance
at all:

we are all trapped
by a singular
fate.

nobody ever finds
the one.

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill

nothing else
fills.

— Bukowski

___________________

Haha, Chuck, just try to pretend you dont care.

in my life

2010-01-04T10:17:00.004-06:00

from here

This song has always been for my cousin- Maria.

The Waning

2009-12-30T21:41:00.015-06:00

Remember to remember,
before the light is just an ember.

I remember, I remember.

Looking at life with great wide-eyed wonder

and expecting friends 'round every corner.

I remember, I remember!

Living like we're burning
and dying from the yearning.

The yearning. Oh god, the yearning!

Yeah, I remember.

I remember in the greatest of detail.

But I remember in a strange disconnected way.
Like watching a forgotten home video,
you hate to watch it but mom puts it on anyway.

And you think to yourself,
'Oh god, did I really dress like that? or
Did I really sound like that?'
Until sweet ma turns to you, to say

'Oh, you and that toy were just inseparable!'
Now that feeling is so far gone it doesn't even make sense
and all that is left is this flickering evidence.

The connections been lost, simply irreparable.

Hopes fall and our eyes grow dim.
Hungering for our youth,
bellies aching, growing ever thin.

Its when you find yourself fully jilted and jaded,
that you'll know the light has finally faded.
So, ye who remember, just abandon all reason
and wear a badge of sad sophistication.

-------------------------------

so⋅phis⋅ti⋅ca⋅tion:
–noun
1. sophisticated character, ideas, tastes, or ways as the result of education, worldly experience.
2. change from the natural character or simplicity, or the resulting condition.
3. complexity, as in design or organization.
4. impairment or debasement, as of purity or genuineness.
5. the use of sophistry; a sophism, quibble, or fallacious argument.

in dreams

2009-12-25T06:15:00.001-06:00

i just woke up from an intense dream. surreal, as dreams always are.

only this dream was just me and my grandfather

and yesterday was his birthday. surreal, or at least i feel so.

the dream is just a moment

where he is sitting and i'm bending down to give him a hug

its nice.

the room smells like him

like dusty books and cotton

like his holy breath and his beard

he says to me in my ear-

'you can stay awhile'

its when i thought

'no i can not'

that i started crying.

end of dream

---------------

the little death that brings total obliteration

2009-12-22T09:23:00.001-06:00

“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”

- Frank Herbert, Dune

things ive been doing with my hands

2009-12-10T21:35:00.006-06:00

colouring in jon burgerman wallpaper stretched across canvas (a ¿friend helped out with this)

makings speakers from KidRobot Munny dolls and speaker parts (from parts-express.com), this took me forever to get done, mostly because i wanted to put a speaker port on the back and the soldering was a pain. it started with finding this how to about a year ago. i want to mount the two rear speakers on the ceiling watchin their own little TV (in pic).

colouring in the colouring books that came with the dolls (same ¿friend did the bottom one). i plan to mount this as a triptych

printing photos - im trying to get a gallery set together by February. but since i accidentally deleted my archive 3 weeks back its been rough

New lens

2009-12-10T21:34:00.002-06:00

f1.7 fixed 20mm (but works as a 40mm on my camera). i am utterly in love with this

pictures of a branch of cotton and a burnt match

2009-12-10T21:16:00.005-06:00

our strange puzzle pieces

2009-12-08T21:33:00.006-06:00

what if our words ment just as much

as...

and if we would just whisper them under our breath

our lips could take the shape of this love

...ah, but only for this fleeting moment ...

you'll never walk alone

2009-12-07T13:45:00.003-06:00

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone"
-Sam Levenson

found here